Due to circumstances beyond our control (the creep insists on also representing the other defendants), we are seeking a new lawyer to represent our defendant, State Senator Vince Fumo. Applicants must be able to start immediately and get up to speed incredibly fast on a 139 count charge of corruption. If you can bring a team with you, all the better. You must be willing to accept payment in Oreck vacuum cleaners and checks from the Philadelphia Seaport Museum accounts.
Please send your resume to my private investigator in care of the Democratic State Senate office. Time is of the essence because my arse could wind up in jail if you don't.