I think I'm toast. Fried, a goner. My Sitemeter traffic was down for about a week and they finally got it working again and I have a week's worth of traffic to glance through (thankfully I use two separate systems). This morning someone from the US Department of Justice was reading the blog, specifically my article calling on the Attorney General to resign. They spent 18 minutes and 26 seconds reading.... I think I'm a goner.
If I suddenly disappear look for me at Guantanamo. If Alberto gets Bush to declare me an enemy combatant under the MCA they'll lock me away forever. Do I trust these guys not to do that? Not on your life. Notice I'm putting that on your life and not mine. Whatever, mine's toast anyway. Who do you think turned me in? Google? Who at the DoJ is spending taxpayer time doing Google searches about Gonzales anyway? At 7:42 am? I'll give them cedit for being early risers. I'll remember that when they lock me up at Camp Xray. Please send care packages, especially oatmeal raisin cookies.
It's not the DoJ you have to worry about. In fact, the individual who checked out your post has already been fired for spending too much time reading your stuff and not doing enough about voter fraud. The Gonzo DoJ Mission Statement is to go after subversive groups, like the League of Women Voters (in Florida) who try to register new voters (who just happen to be poor and/or minorities and tend to vote for Democrats).
What you should be concerned with is the NSC's computer program that flags any site using words like, Osama, good terrorists, bomb, and American capitalist dog... all in the same post. Oops! Now your site's in trouble.
dg
Posted by: dennis g. | March 16, 2007 at 07:38 AM
Gee, thanks dennis. I'll keep warm thoughts of you everyday I'm in Guantanamo. At least keep me in cookies.
In reality this has been a regular reader lately. I just couldn't resist having a bit of fun with it.
Of course if I do suddenly disappear.... it's because of your comment!
The bad news for you will be that I will probably crack under the torture and give you up. As soon as they put a picture of George Clooney in front of my cell and not allow me to fantasize over it I'll cave. Talk about inhumane torture!
Posted by: John Morgan | March 16, 2007 at 09:04 AM
John,
This post made me smile. I sometimes wonder if a black van is ever going to pull up next to me - two guys jump out and snatch me while I loiter on the corner for a second to long. Remember that missing blood sample I told you about. They'll have some crazy story concocted. Maybe we will have the cells next to each other...
peace
Posted by: t.g. | March 16, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Sometimes we need some humor to relieve the stress.
Make sure you bring the cookies.
Posted by: John Morgan | March 16, 2007 at 12:57 PM
John,
Knowing how this admin. works, the oatmeal cookies are out. They would probably think one of the raisins is really a microphone that could be used by the prisoners to start broadcasting "Radio Free Gitmo."
So, since I'll be in the cell next to you, due to you caving in, how about some oreos?
dg
Posted by: dennis g. | March 16, 2007 at 01:38 PM
oooh, I like the mint ones dipped in chocolate....
No cookies at all, now that would be torturous.
Posted by: John Morgan | March 16, 2007 at 01:43 PM
I think you would look good in an orange jumpsuit.
Posted by: Gort | March 16, 2007 at 03:57 PM
The proper way to greet someone is Arabic is 'salam alaykum'. The correct response is 'wa alaykum es salam'. Thank you(very much) is 'shu kran (ga zee lan)' and You're welcome is 'af wan' or 'al aff u'.
May I suggest you start practicing. Enjoy the tropics. Say hello to Fidel for me. Stay away from the cigars though.
Posted by: Kirk | March 17, 2007 at 06:59 AM
Thanks, I'm sure those will come in handy. After the greeting though I'll need a few more phrases such as:
Where are the cookies?
Your place or mine?
Torture turns me on. (I figure if they think I like it they'll go easier on me)
Posted by: John Morgan | March 17, 2007 at 08:38 AM